


Despondent

by SecretCodeLyokan



Series: Despondent [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphynecentric, Dunno if it'll make you cry, F/F, Really ansgty, also papyrus trying to understand what the frick is happening but failing, and some Dogaressa-being-a-good-friend and Gerson-being-a-good-person, anyway enjoy!, but no regrets, critics are appreciated just don't be too harsh k?, i guess, inspired by one of the Neutral Runs, lots of curse words because this is Undyne, partly no regrets at least, sorry for it being long by the way, this is my second ever undertale story sorry for it being horrible, told in Undyne's point of view, you guess which
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 12:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7267951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretCodeLyokan/pseuds/SecretCodeLyokan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once, there was a brave warrior. She was kind, tough, courageous, an inspiration to many, a little rough on the edges and in the core, and lived to protect her people and her loved ones.<br/>But when she bets all of her hopes and dreams on a single wish and it all crumbles to useless dust, the pressure and the realization might be more than she can cope...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Despondent

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my second ever undertale Fanfic, technically. I don't know why it ended up being so long, it only was based after some unofficial fanart I made, and somehow ended up this long...  
> This was inspired by one of the Neutral Runs, in case you don't get it. You guess which, but you will know soon. Also, some cursing every now and then.  
> I was planning to make people cry, but who knows if it'll work.  
> (Ps: Maybe AO3 might screw around with the story format, so sorry for that)  
> Every single character belongs to Toby Fox's Undertale.  
> (also, I know the ending is crappy, sorry)

_"W-well, did you l-l-like it?"_  
_"Like it? It was AWESOME!!"_  
_"P-p-put the couch down..."_  
_"Right, sorry..."_  
_"You want to..."_  
_"Put the next one!"_  
_"Uhm...OK..."_  
_"I never thought I'd have fun learning history!"_  
_"Hehehe...Y-yeah, me neither..."_  
\------------  
You wake up with a small gasp from your dream: this was the fifth time you had dreamed of her again. Just the thought of it makes you a little sad.  
_I wish she was here,_ you tell yourself. _I wish I..._  
You sigh and look away; that's when you notice the piece of paper on the table near your makeshift bed. You pick it up and read it, smiling when you recognize the handwriting:  
"WE LEFT EARLY TO ATTEND TO SOME BUISNESS; THERE'S SPAGHETTI IN THE FRIDGE.  
NYEH HEH HEH, THE GREAT PAPYRUS"  
At the bottom, there was some more handwriting, a little sloppier than the other one:  
"I left some bread and jam just in case. Meds are in the bathroom, also JIC"  
You shrug and put the note back; you then look at the time (7:00 AM) and decide to get breakfast. You stand up from the couch and stretch a little before heading off to the kitchen, where you open the fridge and look inside: half of the fridge is filled with cans of spaghetti, but there's also a small plate wrapped in plastic with your name on it and a jar.  
You ponder a lot whether to eat or not the spaghetti, knowing fully well that this was going to be like the story of that cat and the human that you had once heard from...  
You shake your head again and stare at the wrapped plate: Pap had been getting a little better at cooking, maybe just a small bite won't hurt...  
You speed to the bathroom to check if Sans left the meds like he said; then you go back to the kitchen, re-open the fridge and get the spaghetti; you wrinkle your nose a little when you realize it's cold as stone.  
"Is there a microwave around here?" You wonder aloud, looking around the kitchen.  
On one of the counters, you see some kind of box covered in a sheet, with a note attached to it. You pick the note up:  
"I don't usually do this, but Pap insisted about it; now I hope you actually are going to eat the spaghetti, or I would've done all this for nothing"  
You don't understand what he meant, so you uncover the sheet; the microwave is revealed.  
"What a weird microwave" you privately comment to yourself, as you examine the buttons (which all say "Spaghetti"). "But it's also kinda cool..."  
You decide you've wasted enough time already: you unwrap the plate, force it into the microwave and press one of the options.  
\------------  
A few minutes later, instead of eating, you're in the bathroom tending to your burns: apparently, there really is a reason why cooks wore gloves.  
"Damn it!" You mumble to yourself, wrapping your hands in bandages. "This stings worse than that lava pit in Hotland"  
When you finish medicating yourself, you go back downstairs, scrape off the floor some of the spaghetti (it was cleaned, right? Oh well...), put it on another plate and eat it.  
Contrary to what Sans thought, it tastes pretty good; you can't tell if it's the floor or if Papyrus actually successfully cooked something.  
"Well, he didn't burn the house down at least" you shrug.  
\------------  
Your plate now lays in the tall sink (in pieces, judging by the sound it made) and you're on the couch again, reading a book Pap left on the table near the note. It's called: "Puzzles regarding sports" and you're really enjoying it, despite books not really being your type of thing.  
The phone rings suddenly; you pick it up: "'Sup?"  
"Sans here" the older skeleton says on the other end. "It's time for your shift"  
You groan a little as you look at the time: "Can't you wait five more minutes?"  
"Sorry, but rules are rules..."  
"The rules you generally ignore?" You want to ask; but he hangs up before you can.  
With a sigh, you stand up, stretch again, and head to change.  
\------------  
You're five minutes late for your shift when you arrive in Waterfall; it doesn't seem to be such a serious problem, since no one seems to be around; suddenly, though, you regret not taking the darn book with you.  
"Oh well..." You sigh heavily. "Could be worse..."  
You enter the storage room first, checking for anything you can use to kill time; after searching for a few minutes, the only thing close to entertainment is an unsolved Rubik Cube on the floor, which looks like it's been lying there since the beginning of time.  
_Probably Papyrus's or something…_ You think as you pick it up and examine it. You feel a weird feeling inside your chest when you remember something...someone...  
You close your eye for a second, trying to hold small tears.  
"She liked Rubik Cubes..." You murmur, then you softly chuckle to yourself. "She always had one in her pocket; remember, Al, when I was late, and I caught you fiddling with it..?......Where are you now?"  
You re-open your eye and decide to head out.  
\------------  
"Freaking Cube" You mumble. "Just solve yourself already!"  
You've been on it for what feels like several hours without pause, and every single time you feel like you're close to the end, it just gets more difficult.  
"For F..."  
"Ehm...are you open?" A small voice interrupts your swear just in time.  
You look up from the small cube and find a little child staring back at you curiously.  
"Are you open?" He asks again, his small mouth barely moving as he speaks.  
"Uh...yeah" You nod, hiding the cube. "We...I...it's open" you take a deep breath: God, what's wrong with you today? Why can't you talk to a child?  
"So...you want a hot dog, right?" You say, trying to sound as politely as ever.  
"'Hot dog'?" The child repeats. "What's a hot dog?"  
For one brief second, you want to laugh at the kid's joke; then, you realize that he's serious. This makes you turn red in embarrassment, because explaining simple things such as this was really never your forte.  
"Well, you see, it's food.." You try to say. "It's food that you eat...and…well…it’s like…"  
_Oh my God, this is so embarrassing,_ you think. _It's not shameful enough I'm working at a freaking hot dog stand, I can't even explain what I'm selling..._  
"It's this thingy here" you snap a little, as you pick a hot dog on the counter and show it to the child, nearly shoving it in his face while doing so: "You eat it, either with sauce or plain" You point at the ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard bottles. "So, punk, will you buy it or not?"  
The small child seems unfazed by your sudden burst, much to your relief; he just stares at the food, nods a little, and asks: "How much for two?"  
"40 G" you answer.  
Yes, expensive, you know, but better than that garbage they used to give you at MTT Restort for 80 G. You try to explain that to the child, but he doesn't seem to be listening: he's too busy trying to swish the bag he carries on the counter. Being armless, this proved to be a difficult task.  
"Here, let me help you" You offer with a smile.  
You take the bag, open it and look inside; despite the sudden recent sort-of economy failure in the Underground, this bag holds about 80 G. You take the right amount, then go and get two hot dogs in the storage room.  
"Any sauce?" You ask when you get back.  
"What are they like?" The small child asks.  
Again, that moment of embarrassment. But it quickly vanishes when you decide to invite him to try them.  
First, you take the ketchup bottle, and tell him to open his mouth; it’s really small, so you thank your lucky stars you're a good marks...man?  
You don't have to ponder about it for long: no matter how much you squeeze or tap, not one single drop of the condiment seems to come out.  
"Sans, you motherfucker" you barely hiss between your teeth, to not traumatize the child.  
"O ya hee hel?" The monster asks.  
"No, I got this..." You insist, shaking and tapping harder and squeezing tighter.  
You sure do: in less than a minute, the apparently empty bottle of ketchup is not only unusable, and only a piece of what it was in origin, lying on the stand and probably glaring at you if it could.  
You stare at the thing you supposedly murdered, feeling both guilty and slightly embarrassed.  
"Uhm...man..." You smile a little uneasily. "No wonder I was never handed condiments..."  
"That's ok..." The child closed his mouth. "It's fine; I'll try it another time"  
You look at him as if he'd just said that he had finally found a way to blast Sans to the stars on top of a rainbow.  
"Kid" You say, sternly. "I told you you would try ketchup and I'll give you ketchup; you shall taste it and then you can judge, no excuses. Be right back!"  
You run to the storage room, praying Sans didn't drink everything.  
\------------  
Half an hour later, you are slipping 43 G ("Sans actually charges for ketchup? That monster!") in the bag under the table and the child is walking away, a hotdog with ketchup and another with mayonnaise inside two smaller bags in his purse.  
"Now, where was I with that Cube?" You frown as you pick it up from the floor, where you had somehow accidentally drop it. "Oh right; I was having trouble with the blue..."  
You start another war with it, as you rotate all of the movable pieces while resisting the urge to smash it on the ground.  
"I wonder if it's even solvable" You mutter, annoyed. "Oh God, maybe Sans made this and it really isn't..." You slam it on the table with force, clearly annoyed. "Ngaah, I hate this job..."  
For the next half an hour, you keep frowning at the Cube, wondering if it was real or not; you examine its squares, its colors, everything. But it seems genuine.  
"Oh what the Hell..." You mumble to yourself, picking it up and starting another war.  
\------------  
"That would be 20 G, sir" you say while handing over the plain hot dog.  
The monster nods, leaves the money, and then goes away, munching on the food.  
As soon as he's gone, you fall on the seat, sighing: "Why am I the only living being here who knows what hot dogs are?"  
It's the fifth hot dog you sold so far to the fourth client who had no idea what it was; seriously?  
"For Asgore's sake, do they need a note or something?" You grumble. Then you lighten up: "A note! Of course! I'll write a note so I can remember what to say! Just in case someone doesn't know or these guys get amnesia or something..."  
You fish (no pun intended) for a piece of paper and a pen and start describing as best as you can a hot dog.  
\------------  
Fifty minutes later, you finally made it. The note is on the stand, ready for any consultation; it was actually good exercise writing it too because you got to practice your aim when you tossed the wasted scrunched-up paper in the bin.  
"Now, I'll have to wait again..." You mumble. "And I can't find the freaking Cube, too..." You groan louder and decide to walk towards the Echo flower nearby and say a few random words, just to kill time. You mostly repeat words over and over, like the warrior name you gave yourself as a kid and a few past conversations with other guards and your friends; somehow, though, you end up exclusively talking about the girl you like, describing her hobbies, reactions and such.  
"...And then she would yell at the TV for hours because the main characters didn't get the trap" You chuckle softly as you remember. "And I'd try to calm her down, but she would only get louder; so I'd turn off the TV, and get her something to eat; she liked Instant Noodles best"  
You sigh and shake your head.  
"They're all wrong..." You mumble, frowning. "The Human didn't get to her, she's still here..." You look at the Echo Flower, small tears in your eye. "Everyone has given up hope that she's still...alive...but...but I believe in her" You grab the stem of the flower and grip it hard. "I know the Human didn't do that...she's still out there, and I will find her!" You don't care anymore if people are staring (even though there's no one around). "I'll find her and...and I can...I can..." You stop talking, and the grip gets tighter, as your cheeks turn red; you're nearly killing the flower while doing so, and you will, if you're not careful.  
"I'll find her..." You whisper close to it. "I promise"  
You let the Echo flower go and go back to your stand, head high and proud. Your words now permanently echo all around the place, filling you with little bits of Determination and Power.  
\------------  
_***Ring ring**_  
You feel your pants pocket, searching for your phone; you can't find it, which angers you to the point you nearly suplex the stand just to consume your anger somewhere...oh, there it is: on the floor. Only the fake stars up there know how it got there.  
You pick it up: "Hello?"  
"It's your boss" says a familiar voice. "Your shift's over"  
You look at the phone for a second, before bringing it back close to your ear again: "It's been four hours..." _Shoot, only four?_  
"So?"  
"Well, you said shifts ended after six, or later..."  
"It's Sunday today" Sans explains. "Sunday means four work hours and two break ones"  
"Are you just making up an excuse to stop working early?" You don't remember that there was a special rule for Sundays.  
"Maybe..." The skeleton mumbles. "But hey, at least I'm including you in the break..."  
"And if I stick to the usual schedule?" You ask, curiously. It's not like you have anything better to do, might as well ask.  
"You'll cover up for me in Hotland" was the answer.  
That little...  
"So, you in the...dEEL?" He asks again.  
That's the last thing you hear before you throw the phone to the other side of the area.  
\------------  
Kicked out of your usual shift. It's not you like working there, but still, job schedules must be maintained...right?  
Well, you were never used to them being skipped; you were once the Captain of the Royal Guard, after all, people looked up to you, and skipping shifts wasn't in your agenda or a good example at all.  
Well, now that you think about it, it hadn't been such a bad idea; you were getting pretty bored back there, a break was just what you needed to at least do something.  
You're now past the Wishing Room and into an area filled with Echo Flowers, breathing in the fresh Underground air and sighing every once in a while.  
\------------  
_"Al?"_  
_Lying down on the soft grass, you turn your head towards your friend; she's sitting down, legs against her chest, eyes staring at the stars; then, they turn towards you._  
_"Mmhmm?" She mumbles._  
_"Do you believe these star thinggies work?" You ask, looking up to the ceiling._  
_"Uh...w-well...I...I don't know" She turns back to look at them as well._  
_"Personally," You say with a small frown. "I think they're just a bunch of garbage, something to raise your hopes up and then crush it"_  
_"S-s-sometimes they work, y-you know"_  
_"Really?" You immediately sit up at that._  
_"Well, I once w-wished for a f-friend...and look what happened..."_  
_You slowly nod at that statement, but say no more, since you don't know how to respond._  
_For a while, the two of you stay in silence, looking at the "stars" and, every once in a while, glancing at each other._  
_"...Al?" You decide to break the silence_  
_"Yes?" Is the timid answer._  
_"What do you wish for?"_  
_"W-what?"_  
_"I mean, Right now" you specifiy, sure she heard you despite her confused look. "What do you wish for?"_  
_"Ehm...d-didn't you say..."_  
_"You said they work sometimes, it doesn't hurt to try..." You shrug, looking back at the ceiling._  
_"O-ok..." She imitates your gesture._  
_"So...what's your wish?" You ask._  
_You immediately regret asking, as a dead silence insures._  
_"It's...k-k-kinda personal..." Alphys confesses, turning towards you._  
_"Well, then don't say it"_  
_"What?"_  
_"Wishes work that way, right?" You give her a reassuring smile._  
_"Ehm...o-ok" the scientist nods._  
_"On the count of three...we'll start wishing" you whisper._  
_"Uh...ok"_  
_"One...two...three..."_  
_Alphys then closes her eyes, inhaling a little, whispering ever so slightly under her breath her wish._  
_You don't know why, but you can't decide what to wish for; you try and think of something, but nothing comes into mind that's really important and worth wishing for. And asking for something stupid and insignificant doesn't really seem right, even though you don't believe in them...ok, maybe you do believe the whole wish stuff a little, because it was in this same room that you had wished to be the best Warrior, and now you were the Captain of The Royal Guard. Close enough, right?_  
_As you are trying to think, you look at Alphys again, her eyes still closed, and you get the answer right then._  
_"I wish for Alphys to be safe and that nothing terrible would ever happen to her by the hands of anyone" you murmur ever so slightly, with a smile._  
\------------  
The memory hits you like a thunderbolt. It makes you smile a little, and sad at the same time.  
"I wished on you" you say to the stars. "I sure hope you remember to look after her when I can't"  
You then continue walking, and somehow up at Napstablook's house. Might as well say hello why you're at it.  
"They must be home at this hour, if I'm not mistaking" you say to yourself.  
You walk towards the familiar blue house and knock; no answer.  
"Weird..." You mumble. "Maybe they’re at the farm"  
You walk towards there, and the only person you see is Toriel.  
"Your Highness?"  
"Ah, Undyne! Hello, dear" she waves at you. "What are you doing here?"  
"I was passing by and thought I'd drop by to say hello to Napstablook; you know, the farm owner" You explain. "But where are they...?"  
“I was actually waiting for…”  
"Undyyyyne" you hear a voice calling you. You soon discover it's Shyren, and she looks on the edge of tears. "Undyyyyne"  
"Yes?" You ask her.  
"Oh, it's Blooky...the house..." She melodiously cries.  
While Toriel goes to the small monster to comfort her, you run towards your friend’s house and try to break the door down. You're just one step from doing so, when you suddenly hear something that you swear wasn’t there before; it sounds like...a sob?  
You put your ear on the door, but the sob isn't coming from the blue house. You slowly pull away and turn around, staring at the pink silhouette just nearby…wait, is the door…  
"Shit" you mumble, a bad feeling inside your gut.  
You speed to the house, and slam the door completely wide open: inside lingers a strange air of darkness and melancholy and open books lie scattered on the floor; but what catches your attention is the small ghost in one corner, creating quite a pool of tears.  
"Napstablook? Blooky" You call out to your friend.  
No answer, just tears.  
You don't know why, but the bad feeling inside you grows even more.  
"Is…is…everything alright?" You nearly fear to ask.  
"Oh.................n........n........"  
Seems Napstablook doesn't want or just can't answer. So you look at the floor instead, where the books are, and pick one up:  
" **Dear Diary,** " you read aloud. " **Shyren's sister "fell down" recently...** "  
You pick up another one.  
" **Dearer Diary...** "  
"Is it these?" You ask the ghost. "Are they your cousin's?"  
Napstablook doesn't answer, but they seem to slowly nod. You pick the diaries up and read them, trying to find the correct order; eventually, you find that they have a small number on the start of the page and you use that as a guide:  
"Yeah, I remember that" you comment while you read. "Poor Shyren...your cousin helped, didn't he?”  
“Diary collection, huh? Awesome!”  
“Oh, somebody came...Alphys! This is her!  
“...wait...”  
“Oh my God!"  
You drop the last book on the floor, as if it were made of acid.  
"Oh my God..." You repeat. Then, quite loudly: "What a jerk!"  
Another loud sob.  
"Sorry..." You look at the ghost and sigh a little. "Well...that idiot is still worth mourning for, right...?"  
They just keep crying and you sigh again; you shouldn't say that out loud, that's your friend's cousin you're talking about. So you kneel down and look at the small thing; you attempt to brush their tears, but decide against it, since they might be bullet ones.  
"I'm really really sorry for your loss, Blooky" you say. "Really; I know it must be hard, but you've still got me, Shyren...you've got many of us! I know it's painful, but hopefully, we'll get through it together...ok, I know I'm not good at this, but please...don't cry anymore; he wouldn't want this"  
Napstablook sighs a little: "They were nice to me......."  
You frown at the mention of the human: "They still had no right to slaughter your cousin...shit, sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud..."  
\------------  
Many (I mean: several) minutes later, you have successfully calmed them down, so you exit the house, where the Queen and Shyren await.  
"So?" The older woman asks.  
You sigh: "It's their cousin; the Human...they..."  
Toriel's eyes visibly widen, while the small monster goes inside to comfort her friend; the Queen starts to mutter sentences under her breath, but you can't understand them.  
"Is everything alright, my Queen?" You ask.  
"The Human..." She looks at you. "They...they couldn't have..."  
"They did" you nod. "I saw them; live on TV"  
"No..."  
"I'm truly sorry, my Queen, but it's the truth...Asgore..." You clench your fist. "They...they did it too, I bet..."  
"That can't be true" Toriel shakes her head. "The young one had nothing to do with Asgore's..."  
"They did it!" You insist. "They did! And even if they didn't, they didn't stop the killer! Or kept them from taking the SOULS!"  
"Calm down..." She tells you, grabbing your arm. "My dear, please come yourself; you're just in denial..."  
"In denial about WHAT!" You can't hide your temper anymore, and you can't even help it.  
"About..." The Queen pauses for a few seconds...  
"You're in denial about your friend's death!"  
Silence. You stop struggling, you stop screaming; but your eyes are burning flames. It doesn't make sense. It just _doesn’t._  
"What are you talking about?" You hiss.  
"Not only you can't accept Asgore's death" she patiently explains. "And blame it on the Human, but I've noticed how you keep relying on the fact that your dead friend..."  
"She's not dead!" You scream. "I know her! She'd never do that! NEVER!"  
"Dear, please calm down, I understand you..."  
"You don't know a _thing_ about me!" You continue yelling. "You didn't do _anything_ about Asgore! You didn't _care_! YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEARCH FOR HER!"  
"That's not-"  
"Then you didn't search enough! You just send a few patrols and then proclaimed her _dead_!" You shake yourself free. "But she's alive! I'll prove it!"  
With one last glance at the Queen, you walk away, small tears forming in your eye.  
\------------  
_"Hey, Alphys..."_  
_"Uh-huh?"_  
_"Are we...friends?"_  
_"Uhm...You don't..."_  
_"I'm just teasing you, Al"_  
_"U-Undyne...put me down..."_  
\------------  
Not dead. Not dead. NOT DEAD.  
\------------  
_"Is this a history book?"_  
_"Uh..."_  
_"I didn't know they taught you this stuff at school...Why didn't you tell me sooner! It's awesome!"_  
_"W-what?"_  
_"I mean, look at the size of this sword! And look at the blood! Awesome!"_  
_"..."_  
_"I love History now! Uh...Alphys, are you alright?"_  
\------------  
She's not dead. She never was. The stars...  
\------------  
_"Hello?"_  
_"Undyne?"_  
_"Y-yeah, listen...do you...uhm...do you wa-what'stheweatherthere?"_  
_"What?"_  
_"Shit!"_  
_"Huh?"_  
_"Nothing, nothing..."_  
_"Why do you want to know..."_  
_"No, I meant...I wanted to know if-youcouldtellmewhattheweatherislikethere"_  
_"Uh...hot?"_  
_"Damnit!"_  
\------------  
“Accident”? “Murder” ? “Possibly suicide” ? What were they thinking? They're all wrong. They're all wrong. They're all wrong.  
\------------  
_"Undyne"_  
_"Yes?"_  
_"..."_  
_"Is there something wrong?"_  
_"No, I just...I..."_  
_"Hmm?"_  
_"I...there's something I need to tell you..."_  
\------------  
Not dead. Not dead. Not dead. Not dead!  
Eye squinted tightly shut, you start running.  
\------------  
_"Ok...?"_  
_"Well, I...I...I..."_  
_"..."_  
_"I gotta go now!"_  
_"Alphys?"_  
\------------  
Not dead. Not dead! She's not dead!  
\------------  
_"Alphys?"_  
_"Yes?"_  
_"I've got something to tell you"_  
_"O-ok..."_  
_"So...I...I..."_  
_"Wait, there's s-something I need to check"_  
_"What"_  
_"I-I-I'll be back, don't hang up!"_  
_"Alphys..."_  
_"*beep*"_  
_"I...Love you"_  
\------------  
NGAAAAAAH!!!  
You kick an empty tin can with enough force to send it flying over a garbage pile as high as a mountain not far away from...  
Wait...what?  
"Oh"  
You look around and realize you're at the garbage dump, near the edge of the abyss, to be precise. You don't know how you ended up this close, though. Maybe you were running in circles.  
"And ended up right where we first met..." You chuckle slightly. "What a coincidence"  
You look around, then you sit on the small wooden platform, sighing.  
"Where are you, Al?" You ask aloud, looking at the “sky”. "Can you please come back, wherever you are?"  
Your answer is the wind brushing against your face. You look away, and your gaze falls at the abyss before you; you began to wonder where it leads to.  
"Does it even have a bottom?" You mumble, picking up some other old tin can you found. You toss it over the edge, and then listen carefully; a few seconds later, you hear a faint "splash", which could only mean there was water at the bottom and that it was pretty deep.  
"Interesting..." You comment aloud. "I wonder..." You come closer to the edge, taking care not to fall in. "Could it be possible you..."  
Your foot brushes something at the edge of the abyss; this immediately catches your attention, as you go back and bend down to search the small item.  
"How come it didn't fall?" You wonder. "It doesn't feel very...oh, it got caught in some rag..." You slowly try to blindly untie the object, then bring it to the surface. When you realize what it is, your heart nearly stops and your hand starts to shake.  
"Oh my God..." You mumble. "Oh my..."  
Now every muscle of your body is shaking and time seems to stop as you stare at what you're holding. You hate to admit it, but you actually squeal a very girly-like squeal from excitement.  
About what looks like half an hour, but really is five minutes, you grab your cellphone from your pocket:  
"Your Highness! I found something! You're all wrong! She's here! She's alive!"  
Alphys's glasses nearly drop from your fingers as you tell the Queen what happened and hear her squeal of surprise.  
\------------  
"Are you absolutely sure about it?" Toriel looks at you, as your dog friends search the area for clues (even though the Royal Guard had been disbanded, the ex-members were always eager to help their Queen if there was a problem).  
You show the glasses triumphantly, as if they were some kind of important piece of information (which they are): "Alphys left this as a sign, I'm certain! She always did this when I arrived home and she wasn't there to greet me..."  
"Your Highness!"  
"(My Queen)"  
Dogamy and Dogaressa walked towards Toriel, with something in their paws.  
"We found this..."  
"(In the closest pile of trash)"  
You look at their paws, as they slowly uncover the found item....  
A rope.  
"See?" You can't help but say. "She used the rope to lower herself down!"  
"If that was the case, it should've been at the bottom" Toriel shakes her head.  
You face falls for a second, then you realize something: "Maybe the rope wasn't strong enough, so she used another; this one looks pretty old..."  
"(It's shredded at the end...)"  
"There! My Queen, excuse my manners, but..."  
You pause in mid-sentence, waiting for her to answer; she lowers her head first, thinking, then rises it up again, slowly nodding.  
"Your hypothesis does seem valid," Toriel says. "It might be worth checking..."  
You resist the urge to jump in the air.  
_Soon, Al, you'll be back._  
"Anyone volunteers to go down the Abyss?" The Queen asks her subjects.  
Every single dog freezes a that; they all slowly walk towards the pit and take a look, then quickly excuse themselves.  
You sort of predicted it would happen, so you raise your hand: "I volunteer!"  
Toriel's turns towards you and shakes her head at you with a smile: "I expected that, my dear; ok, Lesser Dog, go get us some strong and long rope"  
\------------  
_Is it strong enough?_ you wonder, as you tie it around your waist.  
"You should be fine" The Queen said, looking at the guards watching over the rope tied to a strong rock.  
You nod as you do a double knot, and give a thumbs up; all of the dogs immediately grab the rope as you slowly but surely sit on the edge, your legs dangling in the void.  
"Ok, Captain..." Dogamy nods (yes, they still call you that, despite the Royal Guard disbanded). "You can go down now"  
Clenching your fists, you find some rocks just below your feet; you check one last time your phone, then you place one foot on them; then, the other.  
If it wasn't for the fact that you're so excited you're going to see Alphys again, you would be excited for this...rock climbing? Was that the name?  
Anyway, you don't have time to think of that: you need to concentrate on your footing; the rope is just to keep you safe, but you never know...  
You start climbing down, step by step, rock by rock...it's getting pretty chilly and even more humid, but you don't mind. Your hair brushes in front of your face...  
Wait a second. You turn your head, as the wind still blows strands on your mouth, then carefully remove a hand from a stone to pick up one of them on your shoulder, wondering if...oh.  
"Wow" you whisper to yourself. "I forgot to tie my hair this morning; and with all the shit that happened, I totally didn't notice..."  
You shrug and push it behind your ear, even though, at the rate the wind is going, it won't be of use anyway.  
You continue climbing down.  
_Soon, you think with a smile. Soon, Alphys, we'll be together again._  
_But how did she managed to survive down here? Maybe she lived out of moss or something?_  
You somehow start picturing some kind of wild-looking Alphys, with a torn lab coat, a scar crossing her left eye and a spear made out of junk in her hand. Wow, that would be cool.  
"Be realistic Undyne" you tell yourself, chuckling: your cru… _friend_ couldn't possibly turn out like that.  
Some time passes; you don't have your watch, so you don't know if it's just minutes or hours. You look down, beginning to distinguish what looks like water.  
"Good" you say, lowering down.  
The wind has stopped, but your hair is a mess, and you have to blow several locks away before your good eye can see properly. Your body is starting to ache, but at this point, you couldn't really care less; power fills your veins, as you continue your journey, until...yes, at last! You finally feel the partly familiar sensation of wet at your feet.  
"I'm at the bottom!" You scream at the top of your lungs. You're answered by a bark and a small "plop!" behind you, meaning the rope now depends its stability on the rock and another dog holding it loosely for safety; you jump and let go...you're immediately soaked up to your knees.  
"Shit" you mumble. "Should've checked the level..."  
Oh well, it's not your only pair of pants; and a little bit of water never hurt you anyway.  
"It'll be all worth it in the end" you tell yourself. "Once I find Alphys"  
You check that you didn't lose your phone (things like these are expensive these days), and then start walking. It's not really easy, with the water level and all, but you manage. It's been some time since the water was this high for you.  
"This is pretty hard" You mumble to yourself. "But I think it might be a little bit more shallow over there...that's where Alphys must've been headed"  
Alphys...her voice echoes in your head, and you stop for a second, closing your eyes. You smile a little.  
"I hope you're ok" You whisper. "Asgore help the Human if you're not..."  
As you walk, you notice that the water is indeed lowering its level as you proceed; but you don't see anything that might give the slightest hint of her being here. Still, you keep your hopes up.  
_I know she's here,_ you think. _I know it._  
It's only when the water brushes the soles of your boots when you find the biggest trash piles you've ever seen.: since you first stepped foot in here, you've only seen small things floating in the water, following the current when light enough. Where you are now, trash is piled up in front of you, and you can't go forward...not that it seems you can at all, even if it wasn't there: there are some weird spikes sticking out between gaps, not pointy enough to kill, but would probably cause a few scars.  
"Probably she didn't went that way" you say aloud. "She must be around here"  
You search around the place, digging around the garbage and every once in a while calling her name. No answer comes when you do, but you continue anyway.  
"Alphys!" You call. "Alphys, it's me!" You move a blanket aside. "Please answer!"  
Nothing. But you don't give up. You continue looking around, moving and kicking away various objects; after what looks like five hours, you start getting tired of it.  
"You are not making this easy" you mutter, as you keep going.  
Normal monsters would've stopped by now; actually, they would've stopped searching ages ago. But you never did. The mere thought of seeing her again fills you with power; you don't care how long it'll take or if you had to go to the deepest depths of the Abyss, wandering lost for many weeks. Heck, you would dismantle the whole CORE to find her if you had to.  
"She must be here" you tell yourself, partly for encouragement and partly to shut up the annoying voices telling you to give up. "She must be here; there's no other place, except outside...and I won’t rest until I find her"  
But you can’t help but notice that you’re still tired. Your movements get slower and slower. You're tired, you can't deny it anymore.  
"Fine" you snap. "I'll give you stupid organs a few minutes!"  
You sit on the wet ground with a huff, and let yourself rest a little; your brain, however, is still working, elaborating ideas and coming up with scenarios and hypothesis about what could’ve happened to your love.  
Your arms suddenly start to slide behind you, and a small little cheeky thought is wondering if you can lie down for a while...  
"No" you sharply slide them back in place. "I don't want to get my hair wetter than it already is..." (You had gone underwater just a few minutes ago to retrieve what you thought was a sword, but turned out to be only some part of a pole, and now you were soaked from head to toe). "It’s plastered to my face enough"  
You grab one of the locks and put it in front of you eye, looking and rubbing it: still wet. You let it fall on the other side of your face.  
"If only I had a ribbon to tie it, maybe it won't get in the way..."  
You look behind you, to a pile of garbage: "Was there one here?"  
You hesitate for a second, then you start searching a little bit in the trash for the requested item. You find none for the first few minutes, and it doesn't seem there is one at all, anyway.  
"This is useless..." You mutter. "I should..."  
You interrupt yourself suddenly. It takes you about five seconds to block yourself completely, letting go of the items you're holding in your hands. You're not sure how long you spend in that position, but you do remember you start to shake after a while; your brain is working at a tremendous speed, trying to grasp the right information and the appropriate response.  
"Oh..." You can barely mumble. "Oh..."  
It’s official: you’re completely frozen.  
So you close your eye and take a deep breath, before re-opening it and shouting the first thing that you can say:  
"Oh my God; Alphys!"  
It comes out more like the squeal of a six-year-old than the exclamation of a woman, but you don't really care at this point: there it is, a sign that she's here, she's still alive, an arm, HER arm. Hands still shaking a little, you remove every single block of trash in the way, taking care not to squish her with anything; you're smiling so hard that your whole face hurts, but who cares? Your arms are still aching, but why would you worry about that? You would tear apart piece by piece the freaking CORE just to get her back, you already said that.  
Her name is the only thing that you're saying now, repeating it over and over like a broken record; but a few "Oh my God" s manage to also get in the mix.  
"Alphys, answer me!" You're finally able to un-block your broken record state. "Oh my God, are you alright! What the fuck are you doing here! I was so worried!"  
Finally, the last piece of trash is gone, and there she is; the monster you love, right in front of you, her eyes closed, her clothes a little torn and soaked, but she seems alright.  
"Alphys!" You pick her up bridal style and hug her, while trying to resist the urge to cry. "Oh my God, I knew it! I knew you were alive!"  
You look at her, noticing she hasn't steered even once; this doesn't worry you, maybe she's asleep or fainted.  
"I'm so happy to see you!" You keep telling her, while grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "I can't wait to see their faces when..."  
You suddenly notice something weird: her hand is stone cold, too cold. Was this place so cold for her?  
"Al" your eyebrows knit together in worry. "Are you ok?"  
No answer. Concern hits you like a thunderbolt, as do a series of voices:  
_She can't hear you. She never will again._  
No...no...  
"Oh God!" You panic. "Al, why are you so cold? What's wrong?"  
The voices are getting louder and louder; _shut up,_ you tell yourself, _shut up, she's not..._  
"D-don't worry," your voice starts to shake. "I-it's all going to be a-a-alright" You squeeze her hand tighter. "We'll get you t-t-to the Queen, and...and you'll be, Ok...right, Al?!"  
You feel your grasp getting weaker; you're unable to think, now that the little voices are sing-songing in your mind and covering any other thoughts. Still no answer. You hesitate for a millisecond, then slowly slip two fingers through the sleeve and to her wrist.  
"Alphys?" You ask, trying to hold your voice steady. "Al...phys?"  
Your voice drops when you hear (or rather, don't hear) what's amiss; you're shaking harder now, so hard that you drop her hand; she doesn't move even then, and you noticed her chest isn't rising...  
"N-no..." You mumble. "No, please no... N-not her..."  
Tears are starting to sprout from your eye; you try to stop them...but they refuse.  
Your heart is beating like a drum; you can actually feel it thumping...but why can't it be her heart you hear?  
"Please..." You whisper. "Please no...don't be..."  
The first tear flows down your cheek, followed by a dozen others. You grasp her wrist again, trying to find anything to prove that it's not true...  
There's nothing.  
Just like before.  
Somewhere inside you, a dam breaks. Your tears are now flowing freely from your eye, and actual real sobs escape from your lips; you count five seconds, give or take, before you can't take it and let out a cry. This cry comes out as a desperate scream, or a scream of pain; you feel it echo around and above you. In fact, you're sure they heard it as well.  
You stay there for many more minutes mourning over your love, crying, sobbing and screaming, and no one interrupts you.  
After what seems like hours, you hear someone behind you walking towards you; the body now lies on the water, and you're trying beside it, still holding her hand.  
"Captain..." You hear a voice behind you say. "It's time to go"  
When you hear that voice, you hesitate for a millisecond, then wrap one of your arms protectively around the corpse and embrace her, standing up a little from your crouched kneeling position as you do so.  
_I'm not leaving her here_ you say to yourself. _Not today, not ever._  
Obviously, Dogamy doesn't get your message, because you hear him repeat the sentence. You turn to look at him, giving him a very serious stare.  
"She's not staying" you snarl like a dog protecting its lunch, tightening your grasp. And you really mean it; and if the Queen wants to let this also burial go unnoticed, she'd better think again.  
The ex-guard is obviously taken aback by your comment, but quickly regains his composure.  
"Captain," he repeats, still respectively. "I didn't say anything about Miss Alphys; I just said that the Queen sent me to tell you that it's time to head back, before your friends get worried"  
You wrap your other arm, the one holding the hand, around the dead scientist, still frowning. "She stays with me" you insist, just to make your point clear. "I'll carry her"  
He looks at you for a second, raising an eyebrow; then, he shrugs and tells you to head back once again.  
This time, you stand up and head in the right direction, then gently pull the rope; you feel someone pulling it, as you look at your love with sad eyes.  
"I can't believe they ignored my wish..." You chuckle a little. "I told you they were a bunch of garbage"  
You hug her, as tears start trickling again.  
\------------  
Throughout the trip to New Home, you insist on carrying Alphys, eyes swollen red and head high. Toriel walks in front of you, head low, and the ex-guards are behind you and on your left and right side, to protect you from prying eyes. But you're still visible to passing monsters through Hotland and Waterfall, who gasp at your sight, some pointing at the scientist you hold; you want to yell at the few who do. You don't know why, maybe out of frustration. But you continue on your journey without even batting an eye.  
\------------  
The first thing the Queen does once you all arrive at the castle is order the search for a new Royal Scientist.  
"I understand your friend will be irreplaceable" she tells you. "But we still need to find a way to get out, not to mention the law..."  
She interrupts herself as you nod, then leaves the room. You then bend down on your knees, and look at her: your love, your soulmate, your best friend...taken away by a single fall.  
"Why did you this to us?" You whisper. "Why this you do this to me?"  
You close your eyes and start crying again, alone in the throne room, still clutching her corpse tightly as if it was a precious item...which is, to you at least.  
Many minutes pass; you're not sure how long you'll be able to go on crying without dying from dehydration, when someone approaches you. You can hear them gasp.  
"Oh, my dear..." A soft paw pats your head. "I didn't know you were still here..."  
The soft patter of footsteps indicate they left for a second; a few minutes later, they're back, and you feel something wet fall on your hair.  
"My dear," The Queen says. "Do you prefer I pour the water on you or would you rather drink it?"  
You gently lay Alphys on your legs, then display your palms. Toriel hands you the pitcher and you somehow are able to drink its whole content.  
"I appreciate your determination," she says once you've finished drinking. "But you must be heading home; it's really late, your friends must be worried sick"  
"But..."  
"The Queen is right" a voice behind you tells you. "Paps was freaking out back home"  
You both look at the skeleton figure standing near the door, smiling as usual.  
"I...I heard about Alphys..." He heavily sighs and looks at her. "Poor girl..."  
You turn to look at the scientist, and stroke her cheek.  
"I promise I'll take good care of her until the time comes" Toriel puts a hand on your shoulder. "Once she's turned to dust, we'll announce the funeral"  
You brush your tears, and seem to hesitate; but you trust her, so you slowly nod. You lie her down on the flowers, then quickly bend down and kiss her forehead.  
"Don't hurt her" you say one last time, as you stand up.  
The Queen promises yet again. Slightly reassured, you sigh and walk out of the door, not bothering to wait for Sans.  
\------------  
"Do you think we should tell him?" Sans asks, suddenly, as you're both back in Waterfall on your way to Snowdin.  
You look at him, raising an eyebrow: "Tell who?"  
"Papyrus" is his answer. "Should we tell him about..." He closes his eyes. "You know..."  
Your fists tighten, resisting the urge to scream. "Why shouldn't we?"  
The older skeleton looks away. "I didn't tell him about Mettaton when he missed the murder...or Asgore" he confesses. "I said they had gone...somewhere else"  
"What!" You turn towards him. "What the Hell is in that skull of yours? Why did you do that?"  
"I..."  
"You know Papyrus will eventually find out; what will you then, huh? Will you keep lying?"  
He falls silent at that; you look away, and face the ground. Your knuckles are now a very pale shade of blue.  
"The truth always comes out in the end" you mumble through clenched teeth. "Always does, always will..."  
You then look back, but the older skeleton isn't there anymore.  
"You really creep me out when you do that, Sans, you know it!"  
No answer. You decide to ignore that and walk alone, head down, not minding one bit the looks monsters are giving you as you go.  
_I miss you already, Al..._  
\------------  
The moment you slam the door of their house open so hard you nearly break it to pieces is when you realize your anger and your sadness are getting the better of you again.  
"UNDYNE?" Papyrus asks from the kitchen. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"  
You ignore him and plop down the sofa; it was all you thought about during the trip home: her, her smiles, her passion, everything, everything you couldn't save...  
You start sobbing on your pillow louder than before, and even punching it. You desperately need let it all out, every single bit of emotion you still have inside.  
Papyrus goes towards you and tries to comfort you, even attempts to gently force the truth and the reason for your outburst out of you; but his voice soon grows deaf to your ears.  
After a few minutes, he seems to understand you need a little privacy, because you can barely hear footsteps and him asking: "BROTHER, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?"  
You lower your volume ever so slightly, to hear what he says. There's a small pause, before the answer comes:  
"It's just...her friend...the Human made her leave..."  
You punch the pillow harder at that.  
\------------  
The next day, the two Skelebros can't seem to separate you from the sofa: you somehow overslept and didn't even bother to get up when you were actually awake.  
"Hey, pal" Sans nudges you after a few hours . "You need to get up; Papyrus left for your shift in your place"  
Head buried in your pillow, you groan something back in reply.  
"You know my bro's getting worried about you after barely ten hours, right?"  
"And not even a single pun?" You mumble. "Is there something wrong with you today?"  
"Ok, listen here, Undyne" he snaps. "I understand what you're feeling right now, but doing nothing is not the solution; now get up and act like the warrior you are"  
You turn to face him; you see him flinch for a second, probably meaning you'll need to do something about how you look later.  
"This warrior's dead" you say, as calmly as possible.  
His eye holes seems to widen for a second. "What does that mean? What the hell are you talking about?"  
You never heard him curse before, but you decide not to pay attention.  
"Sans" you blink away some tears. "What keeps you going? What makes you still have a small bit of hope?"  
He seems to think about it for a second, before answering: "My family, my friends...I guess..."  
You smile lazily at that: "See? You have everything right there; now look at me" your face darkens at that, as you sigh a little before continuing. "The day Asgore was... - you know - I was destroyed, Sans; I lost my job, my house...all because of that Human...the same Human I befriended, to make it worse" you clench your hands into fists at that "...I know you and Papyrus did your best, but...it isn't really the same, you know...Still, I had one last hope, one last other thing that it surely couldn't have taken from me..."  
"Alphys" The skeleton finishes for you.  
You nod and turn to look at the ceiling, tears trickling down your face. "I was so sure she was alive...I was so convinced, I placed all of my hopes and dreams on that single wish...because I made a stupid wish on that star thingy..."  
"What?"  
"Once, me and Alphys visited the Wishing Room; I wished for her to be safe" you cover your face with one of your hands. "But I should've never believed that stuff! I should've hold her closely! I should've never ever left alone! And I didn't and now she's _dead_ and nothing can bring her back!"  
You start sobbing again, trying very hard to stop, but failing every single time.  
Sans doesn't say anything, letting you mourn in peace.  
\------------  
It's been a few days now; you started working again, but you lost a spark. Everyone can see it: you're not that cheerful or don't look that tough at all; but you try your best to look like yourself again. At least your hot dogs haven't changed.  
Give her time, they all say. She behave the same way after Asgore, but she recovered. Give her time. Give her a week.  
A week passed.  
You don't change at all.  
Something died inside you and you know it; no matter how many times you try, you know you'll never be the same again.  
One day, you feel so lonely you go to Gerson's to at least be close to one of the last people alive you care about. Well, there's Papyrus and Sans too, of course, but you see them every day...  
"I understand, Undyne" the old legend tells you. "You can drop by any time you like, at any hour; it's nice to have some company"  
And you do; every day, on your break. It's become part of your routine. It doesn't make you any better, but it's still something.  
You also visit Alphys every now and again; but only when no one knows: you might be broken, but you don't want people to think you're that weak. Some of them will certainly understand, but you don't want to look like you stoop that low or act that crazy and destroyed.  
Every time you go and ask to see her, Toriel helps you get in the laboratory, the place where the young lizard is kept, unseen.  
Once you enter, she locks the doors and makes one of the ex-guards keep an eye on you, just in case. It's usually Dogaressa, since the Queen thinks that a female might be better than a male in these situations.  
"(My mother fell down a few years ago, Captain)" The dog tells you the first time you meet her in the Lab. "(I understand how you feel)"  
The others also say something like that the first time, while promising to never tell a SOUL about this, which reassured you because you know you can trust them. You would then sit down and talk to the corpse, which is lying on some kind of table and partly covered by a sheet, as if she was just sleeping. Sometimes you cry, sometimes you don't, but no one intervenes or stare.  
Sometimes, you talk to Dogaressa about your worries, worries that you often tell Gerson, but these are mixed with even deeper ones. She confides in you too.  
"(Alphys never told me what happened to my mother)" she told you once. "(She told everyone one day that her and other monsters were alive and well, but...we never received any news ever since)"  
You just nod, telling her there was probably a reason of her silence.  
"(I know)" the ex-guard tells you. "(I just hope she wasn't lying)"  
"She didn't lie, I'm sure of that..."  
Eventually, day by day, you start opening up more and more to her, to the point you make a confession.  
"I love her, you know" You nearly yell one day, as you start to cry. "I fucking love her more than any other living and un-living thing in the world; and it took her away from me. That worst part is that I still love her, even like this! I would give anything to have her back! Why didn't it take me instead? Why!"  
Your friend just nods, offering you water every once in a while, letting you vent and reminding you another reason why you let her in the Royal Guard in the first place.  
"(I knew, Captain;)" she tells you when you finish. "(Actually, everyone knew)"  
"What!" You look at her. "Since when? How? Why? Who told you?"  
Dogaress shrugs: "(We all knew from the moment you supposedly met her)"  
"But..."  
"(I'm married, Captain; I know a lovesick face when I see one)"  
You cry even more because you feel so stupid and weak, which makes her smile a little in pity.  
\------------  
"HEY UNDYNE!"  
You tear your eyes off the plate of spaghetti you're eating (or trying to eat) to look at Papyrus: "mmhmm?"  
"I JUST HAD AN IDEA!" He answers. "HOW ABOUT, WHEN THE BARRIER'S BROKEN, WE ALL GO AND HUNT THE HUMAN DOWN FOR REVENGE?"  
He seems so proud and happy about his idea. Poor thing, you think, bowing your head; he has no idea. Stupid Sans...  
"UNDYNE?" He asks again, awaiting your answer.  
You look at him, frowning; then you sigh a little and say something that no one would've ever expected:  
"Revenge won't bring anybody back"  
You hear two forks clatter on the table at that; you just continue on eating, (or trying to), that air of sadness still glowing inside you and in your eye.  
The old Undyne would've never said anything like that, and you know it.  
But you're not her anymore. And you probably never will be again.  
"I'm sorry, guys" you mumble to yourself. "But I'm not who I was anymore..."  
\------------  
"I couldn't protect her..."  
Nightmares. These were another thing to add to your routine; they were all roughly the same: everyone dying in front of you, and you powerless to stop them. There were dreams about the Human stabbing Papyrus and Sans, or carving Gerson, or murdering Asgore, or destroying Mettaton, or whispering to Alphys and watching her jump...  
You always wake up in a pool of sweat and tears and with the blanket or you on the floor. Papyrus is always the first to wake up and help you up, or offer you some water.  
You can feel it: every day, you can feel yourself getting destroyed bit by bit, inch by inch, losing hope, losing your happy dreams...it all crumbles down to ashes. And you're powerless to stop it. And Alphys is still whole as ever.  
Sometimes, you mumble words over and over to yourself that dance repeatedly in your head, and you don't really care anymore if someone hears you and thinks you're crazy. You stopped caring of nearly everything, actually; you still hate your job, though, which is something.  
"It's too much to take for me" you one day tell Gerson. "I just...I just want to see her again, alive..."  
"Don't even consider what I think you're considering for one second" he tells you with a severe look. "You still have other people to protect who care about you; you'll see her when the time is right"  
You sigh and rub your tears away.  
"I just want to know why she left..." You look at the Sea Tea in your hand. "People cared about her too..."  
"She must've had her reasons" he tells you.  
"It was that Human..." She grips the cup in her hand, nearly breaking it into pieces. "They...it did it..."  
"Huh?"  
"It killed Asgore...and Mettaton..." You're nearly breaking it. "And...and now Alphys...It made her fall..."  
"How can you..."  
"Alphys would've never done that!" You insist. "The Human...it did something to..."  
"Undyne..."  
"What!"  
"The cup..."  
You look down: shards lie on your lap and stick out between your closed fingers. You slowly open your fists, and bite your lip a little when you feel the pains of the cuts.  
"I'll get some water..." Your foster father tells you, as he stands up.  
You just keep looking at your hands, suddenly feeling guilty for no reason; not to mention a question dances in your head: since when have you been so accident-prone when it was about her? First, you burnt your hands the day Alphys's body was found, and now this: shards.  
You smile a little when you remember the time you accidentally pricked your finger at her house.  
"She was panicking..." You mumble to yourself with a smile. "I was trying to calm her down, and she was saying sorry forty times a second while she was getting the first aid kit...I told her it was nothing, but she kept insisting...she looked kinda cute when she did that..." You close your eyes and sigh really heavily, trying to stop the small tears from getting out of your eye. "How I wish you were still here, Al..."  
\------------  
It was a few days later that the Phone Call was made. You were watching your friends, while pretending to sleep; it was one of these nights the sadness was too much to bear and you had to excuse yourself to the couch before you burst into tears in front of your friends (not that you minded, but still...). You didn't cry this time, but your vision was still a little foggy.  
Papyrus had left to get a book, you didn't hear why or which one, and Sans was just scrolling through the phone contacts on the house phone, probably bored.  
Eyes half closed, you look at him as he scrolls, and suddenly stops.  
"Well, look what we've got here..."  
This gets you attention. You shift in your blanket a little so that he doesn't see your shining eye which has opened wide, then listen how he dials the number.  
You wait for a while...  
"Hello? Is anyone there?"  
Who is he talking to?  
"Oh well, I'll just leave a message..."  
You hear him starting to tell everything that happened these past few months, mostly about the current political situation.  
_Why?_ You wonder. _Monsters know about all of this, why is he..._  
Unless...  
_He's calling the Human!_ You realize. And then you grit your teeth at the thought. _Why would he..._  
"So...that plan ain't gonna happen soon..." He continues.  
You clench your blanket with you bandaged hands, resisting the urge to yell; that Human...you trusted them. You called them your friend. And they took many things away from you...  
"SANS! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?"  
Oh God, now Papyrus wants to talk them too...you bury your face in your pillow, as he starts telling it about everything happening to him these days. It makes you sad when your hear that he has nothing else to do; joining the Royal Guard to him must've meant more than you ever imagined, and it was all your fault for not killing that wretched being.  
Well, it's not like you would've ever made him part of the RG anyway, but killing the Human? Oh, you so wish you had now.  
"BUT DON'T FEEL BAD, PAPYRUS IS FINE!" He admits, proudly, which makes you smile. Then, you hear him hesitate for a second, and his voice lowers.  
"UNDYNE'S THE ONE THAT'S GOT IT BAD..."  
This hits you like one of your spears would. Why is he talking about you? What do you have to do with anything?  
_I don't want that Human to feel bad about me; I don't need him to talk about me_  
You sulk like a spoiled child, but keep listening nether less. The younger skeleton talks about your current house and job situation, which seems good enough, since the Human probably expected that.  
"..."  
Then, Papyrus stays silent again, this time for a much longer period of time. You wonder if he turned off the phone, then you hear him again; he's pretty nervous this time.  
You silently gasp when he starts talking about your hate towards the Human.  
"THEN YOU KILLED SOMEONE?"  
Oh, that poor naïve thing...  
"AND MADE ASGORE DISAPPEAR..."  
You grip your blanket and clench your teeth. _Don't say it, don't say it…_  
"AND MADE ALPHYS DISAPPEAR, TOO."  
He continues describing about your psychological situation, which makes you sprout a few tears; you can hardly believe that's you, but everything he says is true, and you know it, you confirmed it a few days ago and many before...  
"LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID, BUT COULD YOU PLEASE BRING HER FRIENDS BACK?"  
Your heart is heavy; poor Papyrus, he doesn't know anything. You can't bring anyone back from the dead...  
"PLEASE?"  
You hope that you can resist the urge to fully start crying again...  
"UNDYNE'S NOT DOING GOOD..."  
You hear the click of a button, and a soft sigh.  
"C'mon, bro" you hear Sans. "Let's get you to bed..."  
You hear an ever so softly sniffle, and feel twice as bad.  
"I JUST WISH SHE WAS HAPPY..." You hear him say. "I WANT HER TO BE; BEING SAD ALL THE TIME ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU..."  
"I know, Papyrus...everyone knows..."  
Only he doesn't know the truth. you think.  
You turn around to see them get in Papyrus's bedroom. After a few minutes, you see Sans leave his brother's bedroom, murmuring a small good night, and then head to his.  
When you see the door close and lock, you take that as a sign to bury your face in the pillow, and sob quietly in the dark.  
You can't lie: you really really want them to resurrect everyone. But you know they can't. You know that that's impossible.  
\------------  
It has been a long time since then. Actually, a year.  
You've been recently waking up with small sparks of power, even though they only last for a few hours; but some people are at least happy to see your old self, even if it's for a limited time. Today's one of these days.  
You sigh and look at the bag under your eyes in the mirror: insomnia. This was new.  
"I hate this world..." You mumble, as you try to brush your hair. "Not even having the day off helps..."  
After about twenty minutes spent on one side, you give up and just tie it, wondering if you'll need a haircut.  
"I'll ask for some scissors later..." You decide.  
It's not like you've been treating yourself like trash or anything. It's just that you really can't pay attention to what your hair does; you couldn't even tell if it was tied the day you...  
You shake the memory away, and decide to exit the bathroom for good. You have better things to do than to be a crybaby and make old memories resurface in your house.  
You smile sadly to yourself as you fix your black coat and brush dust off your grey pants.  
"Well, Undyne, today's the day..." You tell yourself. "My, it's been a year already, huh? Time sure flies..."  
You smile a little as you fix your eyepatch and look at what you’re wearing: Papyrus had given you this outfit as a birthday present, and you've been wearing it on special occasions ever since. The first thing which came to your head when you first saw it was a tingling feeling that this could've been simply perfect for a date outfit; this had made you a little sad, but the younger skeleton had thought that you had simply started crying a little in excitement, so he didn't mind. You actually had cried for that a little too, you couldn't lie.  
"It still works for other occasions" you tell yourself for the millionth time.  
You're about to head for the door, when you notice something on the table that catches your attention. You walk back to it, and look at it, as a small little idea creeps into your head. No, it can't possibly...  
"It doesn't hurt to try" you say out loud.  
With a sigh, you reach out for the phone on the table, blocking yourself just before you pick it up, doubt plaguing that single idea. Is it really worth it? What would you say? Was there anything worth to say?  
"Oh fuck it,” you eye barely glimmers for a second, as you fill with a small speck of power. “Who knows when I'll get the courage again to do it"  
You grab the phone and search on the contact list, before pressing the right number and waiting.  
It rings and rings for the first few seconds, then you feel someone picking up, but not answering.  
"Hello, punk" you greet, your mouth twitching ever so slightly. "Remember me? Your BESTIE?"  
You hear no answer.  
"I know you're there, punk" you insist. "I know you must be scared stiff, and I don't blame you; it has been a loooong time since you heard me, right?"  
Still silence. Seems like this conversation isn't going anywhere.  
For now, at least.  
You take and deep breath, trying to calm down, and start again:  
"Listen, uh..." You hesitate for a second. "I just wanted to, uh...update you on our situation, just so you know..."  
You sigh again, and look at the ground: "So, about Alphys...well, we buried her a few months ago"  
"Yeah, she died alright, Human; jumped off the ledge in the dump. But the thing is, she didn't really turn to dust. The New Royal Scientist told us the abyss had some kind of weird magic or something, so she would take a while; the Queen decided it was best to finally give her the peace she deserved, even if it meant burying her, which, ya know, we don't really do..."  
You gulp a little, and continue: "I...I carried the coffin with a few other monsters; Papyrus, he...Sans didn't make him come, that little brat.....hehehehe..." You wipe a tear away. "Anyway, yeah, she's now buried near the flowers in the Underground entrance; Toriel said the ground there was the softest, so...yeah, now there's a tombstone and all; I made it myself..."  
"A-anyway, after the funeral, the Royal Scientist decided to clean up the Lab and the Queen made me help him; Toriel was pretty nice to me, by the way, she let me keep her stuff...anyway, while we were cleaning and stuff....I found a pile of papers on her desk, and, while I was reading them, I..." You sigh. "I found a note...a note she wrote before...you know...she jumped"  
"The notes said she had done terrible things: her Determination experiment went horribly wrong, and now amalgamations were wandering eight feet under the Laboratory, and that made her feel horrible, but she still held on…thanks to me, can you believe it? But I wasn’t enough apparently…because, it said, it was when Mettaton, her friend and successful creation, had been destroyed, that she...she couldn't take it anymore...she..."  
You resist the urge to have another meltdown, letting just a few tears fall, but keeping your head high. You wait a few seconds, before continuing:  
"The...the notes told us how to access what she called the 'True Lab' and we went there and retrieved the not-so-fallen down monsters; so yeah, I guess, now they're all reunited with their families? So, that's something happy that came out of all of this, I guess"  
"About the New Royal Scientist? Oh, well, he's nice and all, but...I don't know, I don't really like him that much; we don't really talk anyway, I dunno much about him..." You sigh again and look away. "But he's working on the Barrier, at least..."  
For a moment, you don't say anymore, just look at the clock on the wall. And a long silence ensures.  
"So, how are you doing?" You ask, trying to break the ice. No answer comes to the receiver, and you chuckle slightly: "Not much up for conversation, are we? Well, I'm fine, thanks for asking...not great, but...well, I do sometimes get these...’moments’ when I'm a bit like myself, ya know..."  
You close your eye for a second, then sigh again.  
"You know punk, you really got a nerve; behaving all pacifist and crap and then going ahead and killing Alphys's friend and my King..." You open your eye again, which is now blaring flames. "You're a little shit for doing that, you know?"  
Still no answer, but you swear you can hear someone shaking a little close by.  
"You heard me" you continue. "Do you have any other what you have done to her? You made her lose hope, you made her jump to her own death! And I even trusted you!" Your other hand closes into a fist. "You took her away from me, just as you took away everything from her, and Asgore...and myself...you ruined me, punk, did you know that? You fucking ruined me!"  
Your voice then gets dangerously low and threatening, and you feel your other eye acting funny...  
"I heard Papyrus and Toriel want to see you again, huh? Must be nice, having that hope you’ll fall down here again...pity I don't have the courage to tell Pap what you did or convince the Queen..." You shake your head and chuckle. "It's funny how life likes to be mean to you, right?"  
"Now let's cut to the point" you slam you hand on the table. "Listen here, punk: don't ever, and I mean ever come back here; because, if you do...I swear to Asgore...”  
You pause for a second, as the Power is slowly leaving you, and memories pass through your head. You hold your tears and gather up every last little bit of Determination and anger you have and finish your phrase:  
“I'LL KILL YOU!"  
You then hang up and slam the thing in its place on the table, shaking all over.  
"I might not be the Warrior I was" you mumble. "But I still might have a little bit of power to kick your ass"  
Your eye then quickly stops shining, and the feeling abandons you. You have a feeling it will never happen again.  
\------------  
You're now past the Ruins, hands in pockets, looking down at the pale grey stone with sad eyes. Precisely, at the words carved in:  
**ALPHYS**  
**xxxx-xxxx**  
Beloved Friend  
They seem to stare back at you, reminding you of the hole in your heart.  
"H-hey, Al..." You mumble, removing one hand from its pocket which holds a buttercup, and putting it near the cold gravestone. "S-sorry for the lack of originality, but I can't pick Echo Flowers..."  
You suddenly close your eye and fall on your knees, leaning your forehead against the stone with a sad smile. "It's been a year already, imagine that...time sure flies, huh? Well, partly, it was kinda slow without you…"  
Images flash through your mind, every single memory you have about her; tears flow from your eye at that for the billionth time, but you don't mind. You never really will.  
"I called the Human today, Alphys; I threatened them" you say. "I know it's not nice, but I just wanted them to let them know I'm holding on; Papyrus and Gerson and everyone else has helped a lot, even though with minimum results, which I'm not sure will show much anymore ..."  
You put your arms around it, trying to embrace the cold stone, just like you embraced her cold corpse a year ago.  
"I feel a little more calm now that I've vented with that little brat, Alphys; in fact, I feel free, like I don't care anymore..." You whisper ever so slightly. "You probably felt that too, maybe; you know, when you…when you probably nearly touched the ground or while you were falling; I dunno if you did, it just seems reasonable to me...I really wish...I mean...I just..." You frown a little, looking ever so slightly away "I just want to be with you so badly...I want to see you again, alive and well...they all miss you as much, you know...I would give anything..." You interrupt yourself, and part from the rock. Your now open eye falls on the carved letters. You slide your finger on the letters of her name, one by one, with a sad smile.  
"But they need me here, Al..." You sigh. "Gerson was right: it's not my time yet; I'm sure you understand too...I have to go now too, I promised Paps I'd go check the new Resort with him...yeah, some fans built another one, in honor of that friend of yours, and Blooky seems almost happy at that; I'll tell you how it is tomorrow..."  
You hesitate for a second, then place a gentle kiss on the stone, wishing it was her. But wishes never really came true most of the time, you learnt that the hard way.  
"I love you, Alphys" you whisper. "I might be despondent, but I’ll never stop loving you”  



End file.
